Fruit Flies Be Damned

Have you ever thought about fruit flies? I mean REALLY thought about them. What useful purpose do those little suckers serve? Other than indicating to you that your fruit is about to become unfit for human consumption, what good are they? Surely you're smart enough to tell from that blackening banana peel or that bruised, smushy skin, that it might not be a good idea to eat that piece of fruit.

Fruit flies are annoying, that's for sure and you can never catch the damn things. They're so small, they just dart out of the way when you try to smash them between your hands. If you're doing this in public of course, it means that you have just clapped your hands together, usually very loudly and with great gusto, for nothing. You don't even have that squished body which would allow you to lift up your hand, point to it and claim victory. Nope, you're left looking either like you're shooing away imaginary people or clapping for some imaginary singer/poet/artist. Either way, you look like you're certifiable.

Today, I've been haunted by fruit flies. As I locked my front door this morning, I had a fruit fly hovering around my head. When I got out of my car in the parking lot at work, I was greeted by a fruit fly. When I was on my lunch, minding my own business, sitting reading my book, this damned fruit fly kept annoying me. I took the elevator back to my workplace and what was waiting for me as soon as those elevator doors opened? You got it, a fruit fly!

Of course, I wasn't able to kill any of them either. They have all survived to live on and multiply. I can envision swarms of fruit flies following me wherever I go. Some people I know are plagued by bird problems, for me, it's fruit flies. I guess we all have our crosses to bear.

Fruit flies be damned!!!