New York, New York

It had been a long time since I had been in NYC...a very long time. Some things had not changed (crowds, crazy drivers, concrete everywhere) and some things had (Times Square has been "cleaned up" and there was no evidence of stripped cars at the side of the road, which was the first thing I saw on my last visit to NYC). I just returned with two of my "bestest friends", from a 3 night stay in the city that never sleeps (and we're all still talking to each other).

Our main reason for the trip was to attend "Harry, Carrie and Garp" at Radio City Music Hall. It was a fundraiser for two very worthwhile causes, The Haven Foundation and Doctors Without Borders. We got to hear Stephen King, John Irving and JK Rowling reading excerpts from their respective works. It was a phenomenal experience to be sitting in a world renown beautiful theatre (air conditioned, I might add, since we had been melting through a heatwave with triple digit temperatures) listening to these great authors reading. It was just SO cool to sit there, look up and see them, live and in person, reading and being funny (John Irving and Stephen King both surprised me by showing a good sense of humour). The evening was topped off with Whoopi Goldberg as the emcee, Kathy Bates introducing Stephen King (could that have been any more fitting?!), Andre Braugher introducing John Irving (still very handsome, if anyone's interested in aesthetics) and Jon Stewart introducing JK Rowling (who, btw, had wonderful shoes).

I guess the second best highlight was the time we spent in the Met (the Metropolitan Museum of Art), where to do that museum justice, you would have to spend at least 2 full days checking out the exhibits. It was interesting to see the old American furniture though, since I am interested in that, as well as the British fashion exhibit and the medieval exhibit (boy, I could have some fun with that stuff!).

We took two tours of the city, of uptown and downtown, via a double decker bus with no roof. We got to see all of the sites (except for Brooklyn), which was great, but due to time restrictions, we didn't get to do as much as we would have liked to have done. The tour bus operators were great though, from the older tour guide who was yelling at the crazy drivers (apparently "if your IQ is over 35, you can't get a driver's licence in New Jersey"...please, all letters of complaint from you Jersey-ites should be addressed to the Grey Line tour company) to Mo, the ex armed forces tour guide who, while obviously very proud of his home town city, wasn't afraid to tell it like it is and give us tid bits of information that other tour guides may not have been so forthcoming with. If you're short of time but still want to see the sights of NYC, the bus tour is a good way to do that.

Was everything wonderful? No. It was way too hot. While I know that New Yorkers have no control over the heat, it's just oppressive when it gets into the triple digit Fahrenheit temperatures. The city is so full of concrete, people and cars that there's just no where for the heat to go, it's trapped there. What else was bad? It was dirty and smelly in parts (stores should not be allowed to leave 20+ bags of garbage on the curb for the city to pick up). It's a little disheartening to shop in stores that have security guards in them (I'm talking about EVERY store, some stores had multiple ones). People are mean. Well, perhaps abrupt and not friendly is a better description. I mean even those in the service industry (hotels, stores, restaurants) were not friendly. I know it's not always genuine here at home when a sales clerk says "Hi, how are you?", but at least it's friendly and an acknowledgement of your existence. You can't get a decent cup of coffee (pronounced cauwfee) in any restaurant there (I learned years ago not to even attempt a good cup of hot tea in a US restaurant), so Timmy's could make a killing there. At the end of a day in NYC, we were wiping black dirt off our skin - that was nasty. What I missed most though, was green space. Outside of Central Park and the few streets surrounding it, there is no grass and there are no trees. Kids play on concrete and cement at the local playground. It's sad, very sad, and it really made me appreciate home.

Would I go back? Yes, I would like to go back and do a tour of the various museums, a horse and buggy ride in Central Park and a harbour tour, but it would have to be in the fall when it was a lot cooler.

6 Weird Things About Me...

Hmmm...I have been tagged by my friend, Francesca, to list 6 weird things about me. It's a difficult task and I'm not sure if that's because I have so many to chose from, or not enough. I'll let you be the judge...

1. When I was a kid, I loved school so much that I used to play school all summer long. Needless to say, my friends quickly grew tired of that game...

2. I once jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. Ok, ok, so I had a parachute attached to me. Still, man, what a rush...

3. I am allergic to bananas. The only other person I know that is allergic to bananas is my brother. Yup, we both got the weird gene! So, if you want to kill me, just feed me enough bananas.

4. I am allergic to mosquitoes...providing me with a perfectly legitimate reason to not partake in my oh so favourite hobby...CAMPING!!!

5. I cannot go to bed and leave dirty dishes in the sink. My house is in shambles, but you won't find a dirty dish left overnight (unless someone in my house gets up and dirties one while I sleep...curses to you!)

6. I always wash my face first when having a shower...and I don't care how late I wake up, I will not leave the house without having a shower and washing my hair. Hell, when I was in labour with my oldest son, my water had broken, but I wouldn't go to the hospital until I had washed my hair!

So there you go.

Hmm...not sure I know 6 bloggers who haven't already been tagged, so I am only going to tag 2...Hubby (aka Bob Hoo) and Peter Mitchell (I can't wait to hear Peter's!). I think anyone else I would have picked has already been tagged.

Signs and Warnings

Do you ever wonder how many signs and warnings we read every day? Have we, as a society, become so stupid that we really need to be told some of the warnings that come on the products we buy?

There's the warning that comes with the window air conditioner, "Do not drink the water that comes out of the back of the air conditioner." Really? Damn, and I was thirsty. Or on that same air conditioner, "Do not drop on foot, may cause injury." What if I just drop it on one toe, would that hurt? How about the one that comes with the anti theft auto club, you know, that thing you lock on the steering wheel of your car. "Do not use as a real club." Gee, why not? It would certainly get my point across to the offender that he/she had pissed me off and had better not mess with me. Hair dryers come with the warning not to immerse them in water. I can't imagine why not. The warning with the new coffee makers cautions that the beverages brewed in said machine are hot and to be careful when drinking them. Well geez, I bought that new coffee maker because the old one was only making luke warm coffee, so it had better be hot from this new machine. I guess this is what happens though when stupid people who burn themselves on coffee purchased from their favourite fast food restaurant sue because they didn't realize it was hot. What really should've happened is that they walk away with first place in the Darwin Awards.

Then there are the warnings that we choose to ignore. You know, the ones on medication, warning you not to operate heavy equipment or drive while on this medication. "Aww, that's just for newbies. I've been doing this job for 20 years, I know what I'm doing", as the operator smashes into something.

There is one warning though that people seem to always heed. Any guesses on what it is? It's the "Dry Clean Only" label. We can drink all the water from the back of an air conditioner that we want to, after dropping it on our feet, and hit as many people as we want to with "the club", but damn it all, if you attempt to put a dry clean only article in the washing machine, someone will suddenly yell out "STOP!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT SAYS DRY CLEAN ONLY. ARE YOU NUTS?" Ladies and gentlemen, in this litigious crazed society, I think we are all indeed, a little nuts (Ok, maybe some more so than others, but for fear of leaving myself open to a lawsuit, I'm not naming names).

Free At Last

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Certainly not an original quote, but one that rings true for me. I did something today that my friends have been telling me for awhile now that I needed to do. It's done now, and I can move on with my life. There have been no tears, not too much sadness, and certainly no regrets (I don't allow regrets in my life). I guess that is a bit sad in and of itself, but that's the way it is.

I suppose this has been coming for a long time, and I finally got enough courage to let go. It was a fun journey while it lasted, but now I can move on to the next phase. Today, I am free at last.

My Turn to Get Tagged

This is the first time I've been tagged, and I have to say, like Kim, the friend who tagged me, I'm pathetically excited about it too!
3 Names U go By: Karen, Kar (because the “en” is just too much for some people!) and Sweet Pet (but only one person gets to call me that!)

3 Screen Names U Have Had: Attitude Queen (can you imagine that?!), Queenca, seeking

3 Things U Like about Yourself: my 6th sense, my smile, my sense of justice

3 Things U Don’t Like about Yourself: I am too slow to trust sometimes, I sometimes forget to count to 10 before speaking (you know, sometimes “I’m sorry” just doesn’t cut it when you say “fuck off and die”), my legs

3 Parts of Your Heritage: Canadian, Scottish, English

3 Things that Scare U: bats(the kind that fly, not baseball bats), bears (unless they are behind glass or in a cage), one of my sons will rebel by becoming a Tory.

3 of Your Everyday Essentials: my morning coffee or tea, a shower or two, a good rationalization

3 Things U are Wearing Right Now: black shirt, blue jeans, nail polish

3 of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists: Bob Dylan, Jann Arden, Great Big Sea

3 of Your Favorite Songs: The Nearness of You by Ella & Lois, Simple Twist of Fate by Bob Dylan, Song for a Winter’s Night by Gordon Lightfoot

3 Things U Want to Try in the Next 12 Months: Go to Thunder Bay, Blog more frequently, get plans ready for the rest of my life

3 Things You Want in a Relationship: honesty, good conversations, and great sex (glad to see Kim has taken a page out of my book!)

2 Truths and a Lie: I skipped grade 3, sometimes my kids amaze me, I told the Pope he’s going to hell if he doesn’t start to approve of the use of condoms as birth control and to help stop the spread of AIDS

3 Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to U: sense of humour, honesty, good conversationalist

3 Things about the Same Sex that Appeal to U: sense of humour, honesty, good conversationalist

3 Things U Just Cannot Do: stop being a bitch when I need to be (and that’s not a bad thing), say no, stop doing my part to fight injustice

3 of Your Favorite Hobbies: reading, cooking, going for walks

3 Things U Want to do Really Bad Right Now: go to Thunder Bay, have a Lindt chocolate, go to sleep

3 Careers U are Considering: psychic, matchmaker, Kinky B&B Owner/Operator

3 Places You Want to Go on Vacation: Thunder Bay, Australia, New Zealand

3 Kid’s Names: Already have my kids, but…Aisleen, Kieran and Hey You

3 Things U Want to Do Before U Die: Be so happy and in love it makes everyone else want to throw up, go on a hot air balloon ride (and I know just the man to take me!), witness world peace (ok, ok, so that last one may be a little difficult…but I at least want to do what I can to try to make it happen)

3 Ways U are Stereotypically a Boy: I think “like a man” (or so my male friends keep telling me), I like to watch football,I pee in the shower (I stole the last one from Kim, but it’s true!)

3 Ways U are Stereotypically a Chick: I like a good chick flick, I cry at said chick flicks if there are sad parts, I know how to read a map

3 Celeb Crushes: George Clooney, Ewan MacGregor, Johnny Depp (so many men, so little time…)

3 People U Would Like to Complete This Quiz: Bob, Gale, Kathy

Email

I have just finished checking one of my many email accounts. Can someone tell me why we all seem to need 25 different email addresses? Wasn't the purpose of email to make our lives easier? How does having multiple email accounts that we spend countless hours each week checking, accomplish this? I know I still have some accounts because I can't remember the damn password to get into them to check, so I figure if I wait long enough, they will become obsolete due to them being inactive - at least that's what I'm hoping will happen.

As my main email account got close to 950 emails in my inbox (never mind the ones in the multiple folders) and I spent about 90 minutes or so cleaning it out (it's down to a respectable under 400 now) I wanted to take the time to thank some of the many people who have emailed me.

Thank you to the person who forwarded me the prayer request email. It's comforting to know that God is listening to my prayers. I somehow doubt though that He/She will only hear me if I pass along the email to 15 people within 7 seconds of opening it.

Thank you to the person who forwarded me the Chinese good luck mantra which has been making the rounds for 40 years now (how old IS email?). I know now that my life sucks lately because I was the one who broke the chain and am doomed to an eternity of bad karma.

Thank you to the person who forwarded me the email soliciting funds for the poor sick girl who has been on death's doorstep for the 9,000th time in the last year. I'm sure many people's wallets are lighter after donating to this "worthy" cause.

Thank you to the person who forwarded me the email that I spent 10 minutes scrolling down forwards to find out that there was nothing at the end of the email. Those were 10 minutes that I had nothing else to do with anyway.

Thank you to the person who sent me the email warning me that they had determined that there have been "unauthorized attempts to access" my RBC and my Desjardins bank accounts. I do not have and have never had accounts at either of these institutions, but it's nice to know that your fraud squad is on the ball.

Thank you to the person who forwarded me that virus warning, telling me that I need to remove vital programs from my computer in order to get rid of that worm that was too good to be detected by any anti-virus software.

To all my friends who wonder why I haven't answered their emails, or why it takes so long for me to do so - say your own thank you to the above people. I'd write some more, but I have some email to check...

Resolutions

Another year comes to an end in a few short hours. This is the time when everyone makes those New Year's resolutions. I resolved many years ago to not make any resolutions, since I was always lucky if I made it to midnight on January 1st without breaking at least one of them. Hey, I never said I had much resolve - at least not for keeping resolutions.

What is a resolution anyway? It's usually something that we promise ourselves (sometimes even in the presence of witnesses) to do, even though 99% of the time, it's something that we should be doing anyway. Do we really think that by making a traditional resolution at the beginning of a new year that we are going to adhere to whatever it is any better than we would've otherwise? I think not.

Having said all that, I am going to make a resolution anyway. This has not been the most celebratory holiday season for yours truly (for a number of reasons), so my resolution is to do whatever I can to be happy in 2006. That is what I wish all of you also - a truly happy 2006.

Sad News

I write this entry with a very heavy heart. During a time when we should all be celebrating, a very special person in my life lost his step daughter(although he leaves out the step part) suddenly, due to a blood clot in her lung. She would have been 30 on Wednesday. She leaves behind a 12 year old boy who will most likely be raised now by his "papa". The first call I got from my friend was very late Christmas eve/early Christmas morning, saying he had just left his daughter in ICU, but would take his grandson back to see her in later in the morning (Christmas Day). The next call, a few hours later, was to tell me that she had died.

It's horrible to lose someone at any time of the year, but especially at Christmas time. It's horrible to lose a family member or friend, but especially suddenly. It's horrible to lose someone, but especially a child - you aren't supposed to bury your children, it's just not right.

To that very special man, who means more to me than I ever thought possible, my heart aches for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope somehow you will manage to get through this ordeal. To everyone else reading this -you may complain about those family dinners over the holidays, but go to them with love in your heart and count your blessings. To those of you with children, hug them extra tight and make sure they know how much you love them, because you never know what life has in store for you.

Christmas Catalogues

I love this time of year, when I can get a workout merely from lifting the morning newspaper. How's that possible you say? Why, from all of those lovely catalogues and fliers that make the paper weigh double what it normally does. Gone are the days when the fliers were only found in Wednesday and Saturday newspapers, now they are in the newspaper every day. In case you don't notice them in the daily paper, or in case you don't read a daily newspaper, fear not, because those catalogues and fliers will find their way into your mailbox regardless.

Have you ever looked at some of these things and the items they promote as gifts? I mean, REALLY looked at them? Here's one flier for a chain drug store that will remain unnamed, but let's just call them SDM. Imagine excitedly ripping the wrapping off a box from under the tree only to find a needle threader. Not just any needle threader though, one that "threads with the push of a button." If you're not excited about a needle threader, how about an "L.E.D. Headlamp. A piercing beam of white light focused wherever the head is turned"? Piercing beams of light not on your Christmas list? Then what about "Assorted Reachers" or an "Ice - O - Grip" for your cane? All of these gifts can be purchased for "under $20" too - gee, what great bang for your buck! I'll tell you one thing, if my significant other gave me a needle threader or an Ice-o-grip for my cane (even if I used one), he would be the one seeing that piercing beam of light, and it wouldn't be from and LED Headlamp, it would be for real after I poked him with the needle threader and beat him with my cane (that Ice-o-grip would be put to good use after all).

Moving onto another store, which will also remain nameless, but they sell more than just tires. How would you like to "Excite and Delight with the right presentation" (at least that's what the smiling woman in the picture would have you believe)? A lovely "handy cheese plate and knife" will apparently result in that smiling face, as will cheese graters and potato peelers. Again, if my significant other gave me a potato peeler or a cheese plate and knife, he had better run, because I don't think I would be using that knife for cutting cheese. According to the same flier, you can "Excite and Delight the chef" (represented by yet another smiling woman's face) by giving her a toaster, but hey, it's a red toaster, so at least it's in a festive holiday colour. Note to all those significant others: APPLIANCES, LARGE AND SMALL, ARE NOT APPROPRIATE CHRISTMAS GIFTS! In the same flier, a podemeter is suggested as a stocking stuffer. Sure, why not infer to your significant other that he/she needs to get off his/her fat ass and get walking?

Moving onto a third flier that was amongst the barrage of paper, this one from a store which shall, you got it, remain nameless, but supply a lot of those TLC home improvement shows. In fact, they might even have the word home in their name, but I won't say for sure. Under the "Gifts for Everyone" section, how about a Rubbermaid Storage Container? Again, it's got a festive coloured red lid, so what more could you ask for? Perhaps you'd rather have a "Husky Heavy Duty Nylon Pro Tool Bag" (it looks like a glorified sports bag if you ask me, but hey, what do I know?). Once again, if my significant other gave me either one of these things, it would be a pretty cold holiday.

Now before you all go and tell me that the true spirit of Christmas isn't the gift giving, it's spending time with your loved ones and helping others less fortunate than ourselves. Yeah, yeah, I know that. Just remember that when you unwrap that shovel your significant other bought you. (And if I were him/her, I'd be checking under the bed before I went to sleep at night.)

One of Those Days

Today was one of those days. You know, incredibly busy, unable to get the part time break schedule done in time, a part timer doesn't show up, another calls in sick, the POS credit card and debit card system crash, you have other technical problems, grumpy customers, attitude from part timers, being torn in a hundred different directions etc. etc. etc.

And then it happens...you meet someone who is so very special to you, and you get to spend some time with this person, even if it is only to enjoy a late lunch with them. This simple event makes the stresses of the day fade away. You return to work with a big smile on your face and joy in your heart. There are more problems to deal with, but you don't care. Then just when you think you are feeling pretty good, you receive some wonderful news and you're able to go home, dancing on a cloud.

Sometimes the gods really are smiling on you!

Stupid Questions

If you have read my previous post, you know that I work at a major Canadian university, more precisely, in the Bookstore. Now anyone who has done any kind of stint working in retail probably won’t be surprised by what I am about to reveal – the dumb questions people ask. Due to a major shortage of space on campus, the textbooks are spread out over several locations. We have a main bookstore with year 4 texts and half of the year one textbooks. We have an auxiliary store with year 2 and 3 textbooks in it, and a temporary location for the remainder of the year one textbooks. All of the textbook locations are clearly marked on several signs throughout the store, across campus, on our website, on the phone message and on handouts given out by the cashiers.

Classes are just starting, but the following is a list of questions my co-workers and I have been asked (all very seriously, I might add) and the answers I would LOVE to give. Of course, since Ed MacMahon hasn’t come knocking on my door with that million dollar cheque with my name on it, I am somewhat dependent on my job, so I just smile sweetly, and answer their questions in a professional manner.

Q.“ Should I buy paper and pens along with my books?”
No, why would you need paper and pens? Obviously if you are stupid enough to ask that question, you’re going to fail the class anyway, so it won’t matter.
Not if you have a photographic memory you shouldn’t.
A. No, of course not! After spending thousands of dollars on your tuition and several hundred on your books, why would you waste another $5 or $10 bucks on paper and pens?

Q. “Do you sell books?”
A. What would make you ask a question like that? Does this look like a bookstore or something?
A. Nope, we’re fresh outta books.
A. Books are highly over rated, you know.
A. No, these things on the shelves are all fake. We pull them out and they reveal secret passageways to escape idiots like you.

Q. “What books do I need?” This one requires the staff person to begin the 20 Questions game with the customer. “What year are you in? What programme are you in?” etc. and then we work from there.
A. (After explaining two or three times where they have to go to buy their books, pointing out the various locations on a map and giving them a handout)…Forget it buddy, you can’t follow simple instructions, so you are obviously going to drop out of school, become a criminal and a strain on the country’s social system.

Q. Customer “Where are my books?”
Staff “For what year?”
Customer “This year.”
Do I REALLY need to comment further on this one?

Q. (After the customer discovers that we have a full service Post Office within the bookstore…) “Oh, this means you can mail my books to me”
A. Sure we can, because YOU’RE special and have an oh so busy schedule, unlike any of the other peons around here. Can we wipe your ass, too? Pretty please!

Q. Customer on the phone (after having to listen to a recording about which number to press for our hours) “Are you open?”
A. No. As a matter of fact, I don’t even work here. I was passing by outside when I heard the phone ringing, picked up a rock, broke the window and crawled inside so I could answer the phone and talk to YOU!

Q. (After looking at staff who are all wearing name tags and dressed in shirts with the university and bookstore name on them) “Do you work here?”
A. No. I just loved the shirt and have always wanted a name tag with an ugly picture of myself on it.
A. No. You can’t come in here unless you’re dressed like this though, so get lost!
A. No, but I have self esteem issues and I wanted to feel like I fit in.
A. Define “work”.

Q. Customer “What time are you open?”
A. Staff “8:30 till 9”
Q. Customer “In the morning?”
A. Yeah, you only have that 30 minute opportunity, so you’d better get in here quickly.
A. Yeah, that’s why it’s 2pm now and I’m here talking to an idiot like you.

I have noticed that I am quickly losing my patience and tolerance for idiocy. What’s even scarier though, is that they people somehow made it to university and the future of the world rests in their hands. We’re all in big trouble.

Ah yes, the joys of working in retail.

ACKK!!! It's Almost THAT Time Again

I work at a major university and we have come upon the time when I will be complaining to anyone and everyone about my pet peeve. You want to know what that pet peeve is? Well, read on...

Why is that students choose to form a large talking circle in the most crowded areas of campus? I'm talking about by the cashiers at the Food Court, or the already crowded aisles of the Bookstore, or the main entrance of the Student Centre. They don't have "hey, how are you doing?" in passing kind of conversations, they go into great detail about their classes, or their overdue papers or how much beer they consumed the night before etc. etc. etc. Why is it that these seemingly bright people (after all, they ARE university students) don't see the hundreds of people who are trying to get around their sacred talking circle? They continue to stand there, talking and talking and talking.

The icing on the proverbial cake though, the real core of my pet peeve is students who do this while wearing a backpack. Now some of you may not be familiar with the backpacks that students currently carry. They don't just have a notebook, textbook and a pen or two - they come to school prepared for combat. The contents of these backpacks could sustain a small army for a few days. So when you happen upon them and politely say "Excuse me, please" the two centimetres that they move forward just doesn't cut it. That pack on their back, the size of an extra person, is still in the way.

Now before you all think I am some unfeeling, grumpy old lady, I don't begrudge the sacred talking circles. I'm sure they're a great way to socialize, but please people, MOVE 'EM OUT OF THE WAY!!!

Fruit Flies Be Damned

Have you ever thought about fruit flies? I mean REALLY thought about them. What useful purpose do those little suckers serve? Other than indicating to you that your fruit is about to become unfit for human consumption, what good are they? Surely you're smart enough to tell from that blackening banana peel or that bruised, smushy skin, that it might not be a good idea to eat that piece of fruit.

Fruit flies are annoying, that's for sure and you can never catch the damn things. They're so small, they just dart out of the way when you try to smash them between your hands. If you're doing this in public of course, it means that you have just clapped your hands together, usually very loudly and with great gusto, for nothing. You don't even have that squished body which would allow you to lift up your hand, point to it and claim victory. Nope, you're left looking either like you're shooing away imaginary people or clapping for some imaginary singer/poet/artist. Either way, you look like you're certifiable.

Today, I've been haunted by fruit flies. As I locked my front door this morning, I had a fruit fly hovering around my head. When I got out of my car in the parking lot at work, I was greeted by a fruit fly. When I was on my lunch, minding my own business, sitting reading my book, this damned fruit fly kept annoying me. I took the elevator back to my workplace and what was waiting for me as soon as those elevator doors opened? You got it, a fruit fly!

Of course, I wasn't able to kill any of them either. They have all survived to live on and multiply. I can envision swarms of fruit flies following me wherever I go. Some people I know are plagued by bird problems, for me, it's fruit flies. I guess we all have our crosses to bear.

Fruit flies be damned!!!

My First Time

I’m new to this blog thing. I admit that although adventurous by nature (at least that’s the rationalization I comfort myself with when I break the rules), I sometimes buck against the latest trends and techno stuff and don’t want to consider myself to be a member of the lemming-like population espousing support for this stuff. Having said that, I find myself rather hooked on this blog stuff. A friend sent me the link to a former co-worker’s blog, and that one contained the link to another former co-workers blog. That did it, I’m hooked now.

I sat for hours and hours reading stories, laughing out loud at the computer screen, my kids thinking for sure that their mother, who I’m sure always teetered on the edge of sanity in their teenage minds, had finally fallen over that edge. “Mom, what are you laughing at?” one would enquire. I would answer that I was reading some pretty funny stuff written by a former co-worker. My response was met with a “let’s just humour her and maybe she’ll get off the computer so I can use it” look from both of my boys.

My boys. I guess they will always be my “boys” even though they are both now temperamental teens, an alliterative phrase I’m sure all parents of kids 12 and older are familiar with. Of course that would require one of them to actually look up from the game that he’s playing on the _________ (insert Game Cube, PS2, Nintendo, Game Boy, Game Boy Advance…or whatever other system he has that I have dutifully forgotten the name of) and the other to unglue the phone from his ear as he talks for hours on end to the girlfriend he said goodbye to in person just 5 minutes before calling her! Mr. Game player aficionado is also Mr. Computer hooker upper extraordinaire too. He started his summer off by networking my laptop and the PC so that BOTH boys could be internet ready at the same time. So much for me thinking I would finally be relieved of the eternal “are you done yet on the computer, mom?” question. It’s now me who is asking if I could possibly, maybe, perhaps be able to check my mail? Please, pretty please…I won’t take too long, I promise! Ah well, such is life.

(And you all thought you were going to read about my first time...ha ha ha!)